I climbed onto the roof of this building with a hippie once after one of my night classes at Columbia College. He got me stoned in a stairwell and said, “Want to go on an adventure?” I said “Yeah” because I like adventure and didn’t want to look like a pussy in front of some dirty bongo jockey. We climbed to the top of this building along a rickety fire escape and then a small ladder that followed the curve up to the roof. We could’ve easily died. It was a good adventure and one of the only things I remember about going to school at Columbia.
The other thing I remember is the time I let my friend Marco take a plaster cast of my dong for his art class. He went to Columbia for his third try at college too, just like me. The plaster was cold and my dong turned out real small. Marco drew a face on the head and put a little felt cape around it like Superman. I don’t think he took that art class very seriously. It sat on a friend’s shelf in an apartment off Loomis until one night I threw it out the window, not because I thought it could fly but because I was embarrassed. It didn’t fly and I was still embarrassed because everyone still made fun of me for throwing my dong statue out the window. So if anyone in University Village finds a plaster dong dressed like Superman, don’t tell me. I already tried to get rid of that thing once.